Yo! Noid

Submitted by b on Wed, 09/12/2018 - 09:16

The 80's were a weird time for a lot of reasons. Take the Noid, for instance. He's a small guy... creature... thing, who wears a red bunny suit and tries to ruin Domino's pizzas (though some people might say that Domino's ruins their own pizzas because their pet pizza place is better (pizza snobs are weird)). Eventually the Noid somehow became a creature who liked Domino's pizza, or something. I don't recall it ever being fully explained, but the gist of it was that kids seemed to like the thing, and kids also like video games, so some Noid games were created, including one called 'Yo! Noid' for the NES (which is a reskin of a completely unrelated Japanese game, but we can talk about that another time).

The first and only time I ran into Yo! Noid in the 90's was in a Playchoice-10 cabinet at one of my local rental stores. It was so bizarre and different from the games that usually were in those things (mostly some Mario game, Hogan's Alley, Wrecking Crew, and the like) that I had to give it a try.

So, I bummed a quarter, put it in, and... lost immediately.

I didn't have any instructions, really, and even though the game looks really straightforward (because it is), it turns out that the Noid is super fragile. One hit by anything kills him immediately. Stepping in an inch of water also kills him immediately. Put these things together, and it turns out that my quarter was also killed immediately.

I decided that the game was bad and a waste of time and didn't really give it thought again until a few years later when I was at my local used everything store and found a copy for $5. I decided that I'd give it a try, since it had been long enough since I'd played it that I forgot all about it being hot garbage.

I played it some more, and immediately failed again on the first stage, and the whole experience from Green's Video Club came flooding back to me. But, I have essentially unlimited quarters now, and the experience of thousands of hours of gameplay to bolster my skills. And... I still failed on the first stage. A lot. After a few tries, I was able to reach the end of Stage 1 and see what lies ahead after all this time. It turns out that Stage 2 is also full of instant death (just add water), and I, again, failed immediately.

I may never defeat Mr. Green and save the city (that looks oddly like an amusement park for some reason), but at least I know that I'm now better at this game than my 11-year-old self, and that's got to count for something, right?